Kaydence D. Azvedo

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Mommy's Eulogy from the funeral (Read by Mossi)

My lil' girl Kaydence

You came into this world- not wanting to come out at all! You were footling breech. We had to have a c-section to have you meet your family. But when you did come out- you became the perfect little addition to our family. Your brother loved you right away. All our worries about sibling rivalries disappeared.

You left us so suddenly in the night. No one was ready to deal with life without you in it.

My heart aches to hold you again. My body aches to nurse you. My fingers ache to touch you. My lips ache to kiss you. My nose aches to smell your baby scent again. My eyes ache picturing your smiling face. My mind aches at the realization that you are no longer alive and that I will no longer see you in this world. My whole being aches for you, my baby girl.

You were only with me 81 days. But you made me a better person by letting me be your mommy. You also left me a broken person by leaving me. Our time together will forever be cherished dearly but you also left me with such an aching hole in my heart.

Your daddy wanted a little girl sooo bad. He even hoped that your brother, Jonathan, was a girl. I couldn't imagine having a girl because I was soo bratty as a little girl (so I'm told). But no Daddy wanted a lil' princess, his little princess. We all knew you would have him wrapped around your finger. He was never going to say no to you. And when you were born we both looked at you and thought you were perfect. He was so happy that you were finally here. Our family was complete. You would be his lil angel. But you left us. And now you have to be his real angel. So please watch over him and don't let him get too sad without his princess here.

Ohh and your brother Jonathan LOVED you so much. He always wanted to kiss you. All the time. He loved you and will miss you soo much. Whenever you would cry he would try to find your "paci" and try to help soothe you. He would even try to rock you in your bouncer/swing when you became fussy. He would want to lay next to you and wrap his arm around you. And always cover you with the blanket when you would eventually kick it off.

And me. I had so many plans with you in it. You would be my best friend. You would be my mini me. I was going to dress you up in all the pretty dresses. I was going to do your hair. I was going to take you with me to get pedicures. I was going to talk to you about the world, about boys, about God and about our Afterlife. I was going to help you with your homework and I was going to kiss your boo boos, I would read you good night stories. I was going to help you overcome the obstacles that would come in your way in this world. I was going to hug you and kiss you and love you until the day I died. But you left me first. I never got the chance to hear you call me mommy. And that hurts me the most. But I'm glad you will never have a chance to feel pain in this world. To have your knee skinned. Or a chance to get the flu. I am glad you will never know what it feels like to have your heartbroken or to feel a loss of a family member. I am so glad you never got to experience the evil in this world because you were taken from us so soon. But that doesn't lessen my selfishness of wanting you here with us instead of in Heaven, my sweet dear little girl.

What keeps me going is that I KNOW I will see you again. And that you will be the one waiting for me when I die.I know that you were a very very special baby and that Jesus himself is holding onto you for me. He almost adores you as much as we did. When I die I know I will see you. And I will have a chance to kiss you again. And to hug you again. And hold you again.

So Kaydence, my dear sweet little girl. I hope you know how much I love you. And know I will always love you. You are one of the sweetest gifts that God has ever given to me. But He loved you too much and wanted you back with Him. Please have Jesus keep a watchful eye on your brother. And also tell Him to keep your daddy and me from falling apart without you. Watch over us and know that everything we do from now on is for you, my sweet little darling girl. I love you soo much and I miss you soo much. I would give anything to have you back home with me alive and healthy. But I know you are in a better place. So my wish is in vain. Take Care my angel. Know mommy misses you so much and she is praying for the day that we will meet again.

Love Always & Forever,
Your Mommy



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Just one little peek into heaven,
Is all I'm asking for today.
I just want to know how she's doing,
And heaven seems so far away.

Is she playing on the clouds with angels?
Is she laughing and running today?
Does she miss me?
I guess only she knows.
Oh why does heaven seem so far away?

If you just let me look for a moment,
To catch a glimpse of her sweet smiling face,
I promise I won't try to take her,
I know, she's in a better place.

Just one little peek into heaven,
Is all I'm asking for today.
I just want to know how she's doing,
And heaven seems so far away...
Callie Sanders Thornton
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"Ask My Mom How She Is"
(unknown)
My Mom, she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before
But from now until she dies,
She'll tell a whole lot more.

Ask my Mom how she is
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
because she can't describe the pain.

Ask my Mom how she is,
She'll say"I'm alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night ?

Ask my Mom how she is
She seems to cope so well,
She didn't have a choice you see,
Nor the strength to yell.

Ask my Mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
For God's sake Mom, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken

She'll love me all her life
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.

I am here in Heaven
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen
Hug her and hold her near.

On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say,
"You're lucky to get in here, Mom,
With all the lies you told!"
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THE CORD!

We are connected, my child and I,
by an invisible cord not seen by the eye.
It’s not like the cord that connects us at birth,
this cord can’t be seen by any on earth.
This cord does its work right from the start,
it binds us together, attached by the heart
I know that it’s there, though no one can see
this invisible cord, from my child to me.
The strength of this cord,
it’s hard to describe,
it can’t be destroyed, it can’t be denied.
It’s stronger than any cord man could create;
it withstands the test, can hold any weight.
And though you are gone and you’re not here with me,
the cord is still there though no one can see.
It pulls at my heart, I am bruised, I am sore,
but this cord is my lifeline as never before.
I’m thankful that God connects us this way,
a mother and child…Death can’t take it away.

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Daddy, please don't look so sad, Mama please don't cry-
"Cause I am in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies."
Please, try not to question God,
Don't think He sent me to you, and then changed his mind.
You see, I am a special child, and I'm needed up above
I'm the special gift you gave Him, the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you and watch the sky at night,
Find the brightest star that's gleaming, That's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost, that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers; I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze, from a gentle wind that blows That's me,
I'll be there, planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing, and your heart feels a little tug, That's me,
I'll be there, giving your heart a hug.
So Daddy, please don't look so sad, Mama don't you cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies.
--- Claudette T. Allen

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"AND GOD SAID...."

I said, "God, I hurt."
And God said, I know."

I said, "God, I cry a lot."
And God said, "That is why I gave you tears."

I said, "God, I am so depressed."
And God said, "That is why I gave you Sunshine."

I said, "God, life is so hard."
And God said, "That is why I gave you loved ones."

I said, "God, my loved one died."
And God said, "So did mine."

I said, "God, it is such a loss."
And God said, I saw mine nailed to a cross."

I said, "God, but your loved one lives."
And God said, "So does yours."

I said, "God, where are they now?"
And God said, "Mine is on My right and yours is in the Light."

I said, "God, it hurts."
And God said, I know."

Posted on the wall at the
Oklahoma City bombing site
by K. C. and Myke Kuzmic
Stockton, CA